Usually its me who leaves', it has always been me moving away..for as far as I can remember. I left my friends in grade school because I'm attending high school somewhere else. Without finishing the term I had to leave that school for another one and ultimately relocated to a new residence. I've left them all entirely, old and new friends together.
After college, I also left home to work in another city I left my family and friends again. I am only able to come home once in a year it was tough.
I have made good friends at work, i warmed to the place because of them. One day I just woke up in another place another set of people to work with and to be friends with. Then again I have to move in just a year, this time I am in Cagayan. It had been a happy place, I have two beautiful and loving friends to argue and cry with, to laugh, sing and dance with. Two years was so short for us and then I have to leave yet again.
In just four years I've lived in 4 different cities, if I was not dedicated to the "rolling stones" I can't imagine to what else was I liked?
I am now in Iloilo-writing about this moment.
I woke up real happy today, a totally different state -as yesterday was a challenge.
Then, I was anxious, my heart felt heavy, my weekend was lonely it all add up to the feeling.
But last night I felt so much better, my day concluded possitively-that was probably it. I slept well and good, I woke up lightly.
I expected a bright welcoming day. The sun was up, the water was just great.
Until I received a message saying, " Hi darling, Im at the airport for Manila-leaving for Dubai this evening."
Exactly the perfect bomb to shatter my day!
Now why should I be so shocked, when I'm so used with separation. I wonder at that myself. I guess I was so used at leaving but have never have been left behind, (that includes boys). I may have mastered the emotional burden of having to move away but I am yet to handle how it is to be left behind. Now I can relate with the saying " Those who go, do not feel the pain of parting. It is they who stay behind that suffer." Now whoever he is must have been hurt real bad, to put into words this painfulness I feel now.
Rona is one of those select few, with whom I can be just myself. She's so dear to me, its shocking to find out she's leaving right away without giving me and all of us -her friends- a clue.
It was such a blow I am utterly unprepared to receive. Not today, that I have just told myself that its happy. I even put my IM status the word "peace" because i cant help but show my contentment it was actually overwhelming. Yes, thats right, "was".
Now i don't feel like it, my eyes are hurt I think. Thats why I may look as if I've cried, not really. I just looked like I did, but not really.
Believe it!
I just hope, you will be careful out there. You are strong and heck you can keep a lifetime of secrets, what can you not manage. Go with God still, he's the only one you have as of this day. Dubai is not some place i can just call a cab for-when you want to see me.
I love you and I do regret I did not come to you when you pleaded this summer. I regret it with all my heart but there is no use going back to it now. I've learned my lesson, i just hope my instincts would work the sharper next time.
I have missed you and I shall be missing you.
Please take care and save your money, we have to take care of ourselves in the future.
